The Holiday Blues

AH, the holiday season has once again reared its ugly yet beautiful head. This time of year is a difficult time for me because it's a season that my mom loved so very much. You see, my mom has been gone for 14 Holiday Seasons. She died of ovarian cancer in May, '92. And ya know, I still miss mom, but especially at the holidays.

What do I miss about mom? LOTS!

• Like the smell of her after she took a bath and lathered herself in Estee Lauder's White Linen lotion.
• Or seeing her on the couch, glasses on, totally engulfed in a book.
• Shopping! Shopping! Shopping! Mom LOVED to shop!
• Our vacation to London that mom took me on. It was the BEST vacation because we had each other's undivided attention and there was no one else to worry about. I am so thankful for that because a year after that trip she died.
• Her calling me "darlin" whenever I'd call
• Our long talks about everything and nothing on the phone!
• Spur of the moments trip I would make to see her "just because".
• She was such a kind and loving person.
• I miss mom's great cooking! SHE loved to cook and she had a GAZILLION cookbooks! That's no joke! There was a closet at the end of a hallway and it was JUST cookbooks! And at the other end of the hallway...another closet...and YEP, you guessed it...COOKBOOKS!
• OH, that reminds me...mom used to read the phone book! LOL...this really brings a smile to my face! I'd come home from school and there she was on the couch with the phone book. I'd say, "Mom, what are you doing?" She'd say, "Hi Darlin! I'm reading the phone book!" I'd say, "WHY?" She'd say, "Oh, I wondered if so-n-so still lived in their house. Then I thought of so-n-so and had to check on them too!" This went on for a long time sometimes! The phonebook...who would've thunk someone would actually READ it except to find a phone number!
• I remember mom telling me after my tennis matches that she was SO nervous. I would just laugh and think...HUH? How can you be nervous when you aren't even playing? But now that I have kids who play soccer...I GET IT! I just wish mom were here to tell that to now!
• I miss her being a grandma to my kids. They have missed out on such a great person for a grandma...but they hear stories about her all the time! So, they "know" her!
• I miss seeing my dad pat mom on the rear and kiss her 3 times when he came into the house and left the house. It's hard to see dad grow old alone.
• I miss mom at the holidays. The site of her in the kitchen, apron on, always bustling around to get the meal put together and wanting to be sure we were all happy.

That's what makes the holidays a blue time for me, yet I love them too. I'm sure there's more about mom that I miss...but for now...that's what came to my head!