My mom is definitely someone that I admired with every fiber of my being. She was kind, gentle, loved Christ, her family and my dad with all of her heart and soul. The courage she displayed while battling the cancer was truly admirable. She never once complained and she called each of us kids when she decided to stop treatment and just LIVE. She wanted to be sure we were all OK with her decision. Of course, mom started with the oldest and worked her way to the youngest...ME...and our conversation was difficult. She had held all of her emotions in and they let loose with me. All I could do was cry with her and tell her that I respected her decision and would always be there and love her!
I also remember a chat with mom about a month before she died. I had driven to see her (only an hour from where I lived in MN) and just spend the day taking care of her. Mom said to me, "Laurie, please do not be sad when I am gone." I looked at her, with HUGE TEARS in my eyes and said, "Oh mom, you know I can't promise you that. I WILL MISS YOU SO MUCH because you are my best friend!" We cried together! (I have tears in my eyes now as I type this.)
When mom died, 5/20/92 at 5:45 AM, my heart physically hurt...YES...physically hurt. I didn't realize how difficult it would be, because you see, I thought it would be a blessing and that she would now be with Christ. Well, at that moment it wasn't how I felt...I felt a deep sense of loss and like a part of me had died when she died. I cried every day for 2 weeks and would pick up the phone to call her everytime the kids did somethign that I knew grandma would want to know...that was the hardest thing to overcome...picking up the phone and calling mom...(sigh)
My mom's favorite bird was the cardinal, her favorite flower the pink rose. The morning she died, dad called the local catholic funeral home. The Mackens came to get mom, asked dad if he wanted more time with her and any requests. Dad said he had already said his goodbyes (she died in his arms in their home) and to please be careful with her. While dad sat in the living room waiting for the Mackens to take care of mom he looked out the front window. There on the gutter, looking into the house was a CARDINAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mom was taking care of dad in death as well as life! To this day, when I see a MALE CARDINAL I say HI MOM. The kids say it's weird cuz grandma was obviously female and why would she come back as a male cardninal! I said cuz it was her FAVORITE! I know mom laughs every time that chat happens!
This morning, as I was working in the garden and by the pool, I could hear a cardinal singing at the top of its lungs but I could NOT see it...I still said HI MOM!!!
That's probably enough ramblings about mom. Here is a picture of mom and dad...their last formal pic...not sure what year it was though. She was a beautiful woman!
On a final note...to honor my mom I got one final tattoo...her favorite flower with her initials, PF for Patricia Fischer, in the stem. I got this about a month ago and wanted to wait to unveil it until today! :oD
Thanks for letting me remember mom here. I will share more quilt pics as soon as I get them off of my camera. There are more to come!
Have a great day!
Hugs
Laurie
17 comments:
Laurie, (((HUGS))) for you today - with thanks for sharing the memories of your Mom.
My Dad died 33 years ago this month, and there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about him with a smile. Such a wonderful, gentle man.
Your memories are precious. Cherish them!
I will send a loving thought to your Mom and to you whenever I see the cardinal that lives in our backyard.
Thank you for sharing your heart today.
Sending you hugs.
Darilyn
thanks for sharing this memory...it is hard to lose your mom. great tatto to celebrate her.
Laurie, thanks so much for the memorial to your mom. You look so much like her!! What a wonderful mother she was and obviously a great example for you to follow.
Judy L.
{{{A big hug}}}
Jeanne
Thank you for sharing your story Laurie. Yesterday I walked for Strides Against Breast Cancer for women who have died of this terrible diesease, including my mom who died when I was 18. The pain never goes away, does it?
Hugs.
Lesley
Sending hugs to you today, Laurie. I'm so glad you have all those wonderful memories to cherish. She sounds like such a wonderful mother.
Hugs to you Laurie ! (((( ))))
it doesn't get any easier, does it, Laurie? What a lovely, classy women your mother was from your story. I was in tears just reading your post. Big, big hugs sent your way.
Anniversaries are tough but they are an opportunity to pull out all of the wonderful memories of our loved ones. Thanks for sharing memories of your Mom with us.
What a nice memorial to your mom. It is a blessing to have good memories of a loving relationship. Thanks for sharing the story.
You are lucky to have had such a great relationship with your Mother. She sounds like she was a wonderful woman. Thanks for sharing.
Beautifully told Laurie, and such a great tribute to your Mom, she raised you well. I know it never really get easier, especially on the anniversaries, birthdays and Mother's Day. Love your new tat..you are one brave girl!! Hugs, Finn
Laurie, I am sitting here sobbing...with my mother being in the condition she is in and has been in for 5 years I so totally can relate to your post. I would never be able to tell my mom that I will not be sad when she is gone, infact I will be very sad. Thank you for sharing your story, I am sorry your heart has had to endure such sadness.
I am so sorry for your loss.
What a beautiful memorial tattoo.
Ah Laurie, it is hard to lose a Mom you love so much - mine lost her fight with cancer 7 years ago. And sometimes it is the simple little things (like a cardinal) that can bring you happy memories, so hold on to that.
Cheers!
Evelyn
(((HUGS))) Thanks for coming.
Hugs,
Melinda
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