NINE YEARS LATER...

Today is the 9th anniversary of when I was told I had breast cancer! That was NOT a good day in my life. I was alone, holding on to a phone, saying OK, OK, OK, OK to all the things the phone was saying to me. I hung up and tried to call Steve (dh). He wasn't at his desk. I tried to call my sister, she wasn't home and doesn't have a cell, I tried to call my dad, but he was having coffee with his "cronies". I tried to call my best friend but she wasn't home either. I WAS ALONE. I FINALLY called Steve and pushed "0" for his secretary. I got him out of a meeting and told him. There were 2 people who loved each other holding on to phones, unable to speak.

LIFE HAD CHANGED. Life was strange for a long time after that phone call. It was a series of Drs. appts, all of them asking the same questions and poking at the same spot on my breast. The oncologist, the surgeon, the radiologist, the plastic surgeon...they all did the same thing. By the time I got to the radiologist I was paralyzed for words. DH had to do the talking for me as I sat in a chair with silent tears streaming down my face. Telling 4 little kids was probably the MOST DIFFICULT thing...I remember little Dan, just 9yo saying "are you going to die, mom?" OH, that ripped my heart out. My oldest, Joe was 15 and said nothing. Sarah, 13 screamed and sobbed. Kevin, 11 said...hmmm...OK.

The FIGHT began. I had a double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction on 12/13 after much FIGHTING to get an appointment. They wanted to wait until after the first of the year because lots of people were having elective plastic surgery since they had reached their deductible! But I KNEW I could NOT wait that long and told my regular surgeon that if some chick who wanted new boobs for New Year's Day was keeping me from saving my life she could "go to hell". He said, "I'll brb". He came back and said, "Would this Saturday be ok?" The day of surgery was that Saturday. The plastic surgeon was on call and my surgeon came in on his day off! YES...ON HIS DAY OFF! NOW that's a caring Dr.!

The recovery was brutal. I couldn't stand up straight for a month and exhaustion was overwhelming. A month later I began a rigorous chemotherapy treatment for which I qualified for in a study. I went every other Friday for 8 treatments. In between those 2 weeks I was given a shot by my neighbor every day for 10 days. The shots kept my white blood cell count up so I could stay on track with my treatments. I did so well that my oncologist cancelled my last 10 shots after my last treatment! HALLELUJAH!!!! I remember wanting to have my hair for the 2nd treatment. I did...BARELY...it was falling out but I plastered it on with hairspray. LOL The nurses were AMAZED I had hair for that treatment! I didn't tell them my secret! LOL

Well, that Sunday, my head hurt so badly that I had the kids shave my head....what an EMOTIONAL day that was. I SOBBED and SOBBED and SOBBED. NO ONE TOLD ME HOW HARD IT WOULD BE TO BE BALD!!!! As far as I am concerned that was the most difficult part of the whole adventure. There were a lot of check ups after that. A few scarey times where I had a brain scan and another time when I had a bone scan...both negative.

I am still here...9 years later and CELEBRATING LIFE!!!!! You see, I'm a FIGHTER...I told ALL of my doctors that I wasn't going to let a little breast cancer take my life...I was too young, 38yo at the time, and my kids needed their mom for a LONG TIME!!!

My DH was WONDERFUL through all of this. He went to every Drs. appt with me and every treatment. He held me the day I sobbed like a small child into my pillow trying to make the gazzillionth decision in a nano-second. He always told me how beautiful I looked and was sad when my hair started coming in. "I kinda liked your bald head" he said as he rubbed the newly forming peach fuzz!!! We also found out how many people in our community in MN loved us. Meals were brought EVERY DAY for 8 SOLID WEEKS! It was a good thing it was a cold winter because our porch become a freezer! These were 4 course meals WITH dessert!!! AMAZING!!! A gal came and cleaned my house every week for us. People carpooled the kids to their various practices. People came to take me to lunch just to get me out of the house. It was INCREDIBLE to feel the LOVE!!! SO...the story started out bleak and has a happy ending! I AM A SURVIVOR!!!!!!!

OH, also, this brought me to quilting! My sisters quilted when their kids were very little and were getting back into it. One sister dragged me to a quilt store several times to help her with a project. Eventually, both sisters and I were at a LQS and I said, "I CAN DO THIS!" And I did! So I guess I have cancer to thank for bringing quilting into my life!!!

Hugs
Laurie
I can't get pics to post anymore...it just stops on me...grrrrrrrrrrrr